Salam Blog,
Over the fortnight i have not been active blogging. Alhamdulillah i am going into the last third of Ramadhan and this year i am determine to spend d last 10 nights worshiping Allah to the max i can. In the previous post, i have said that i felt like this Ramadhan was going to be a special one for me. Indeed it is, Few days ago, i was plague with persistent headache that i have never felt before. it started after i become lazier to go to the mosque for Terawih prayer. The throbbing headache was so severe that it affected my mood and daily activities, including reciting Al-Quran. I was so disturb by it. It makes me even harder to perform Terawih during the mid of Ramadhan.
My suffering reaches the max towards the final thrid of the month, I became numb, unable to enjoy leisure and what i like to do. i was driving at night during mid ramadhan half asleep, trying to withstand the headache and i got my allergic attack that night which just kill me off. That time i had no one to turn into except ALLAH.. i pray to him to stop my suffering and give me the answer of why i am being tested like that. I coudnt take it much longer, i drove as fast to go home and jump into bed. i woke up at 5 and realise i havent perform isya'. so i did, and go for sahur. by that time, my headache was a bit less painful. i took a nap after my sahur and This is it.. my question was answered.
In this dream, full of my friends, we were all having fun, doing a lot of forbidden things. We were in our own world. we forgot our creator, we never pleased him. Towards the end, i was about to commit a big sin and while i was half way, then i realise, and i told myself. i don't want this. this is Ramadhan, i cant do this. Suddenly 3 of my friends smile and look at me and remind me that i have not perform taubat and seek HIS forgiveness for the sins that i have committed. Immediately i woke up looking at the clock and i was in disgrace because i am not pleasing HIM.
From this dream, i learn that i need to seek Allah forgiveness.. Subhanallah, He choses the best way to remind me. I now know why i am being tested more that usual during this ramadhan. I intend to perform taubah until the end of Ramadhan.. and try to please Allah and seek guidance and hopefully i catch lailatul qadar insyaallah..
